Ass Talk

屁话连篇

By Leo and Ms. Mae

Vocabulary: "a hole in a wall", wiseass, butt kisser, a pain in the ass, butt in, kick one's ass, jackass, not know to wipe one's own ass, to cover one's asshole, up to one's throat, bust one's ass to do sth., big honcho, put one's ass on the firing line, morass, a kick-ass job, backbreaker,

Xiao Ming and Xiao Hong are having dinner at “a hole in a wall.”

Xiao Ming: This tastes like ass.

Xiao Hong: That’s because you are eating a chicken ass. I thought you liked them.

Xiao Ming: Don’t be such a wiseass. How was your day?

Xiao Hong: It was crummy.

Xiao Ming: What happened?

Xiao Hong: I’ve told you about immediate boss, the one with the big fat buttocks, she is a real two-faced bitch. She has been shoving all her work on me and grabbing all the credit from the big boss. She is such a butt kisser!

Xiao Ming: I didn’t know she was such a pain in the ass for you!

Xiao Hong: What’s more, she butts into whatever I do, pretending to be helpful and friendly, all the time trying to make points for herself. When I watch her waggle her fat behind around, it makes me want to kick her in the fanny. Oh, let’s forget it. Tell me about your day.

Xiao Ming: Well, mine sucked. You know that jackass on my team who doesn’t even know how to wipe his own ass? He mixed up all the files that are due and I will have to cover his asshole. Besides that I am up to my throat in my own assignments, so I’ve got to bust ass to get all of them done by Friday, or else the big honcho will put my ass on the firing line. How do we get ourselves out of this morass?

Xiao Hong: You know, you really have a kick-ass job that many people would kill for.

Xiao Ming: Yours isn’t such a backbreaker, either. I always thought that you have a cushy position.

Xiao Hong: I guess the truth is, we are really better off than most people. Our complaints don’t compare to most others. So we should thank our lucky stars that we even have jobs.

Vocabulary Explanations:

屁股的别称：
ass, buttocks, butts, tush, cheeks, fanny, rear, rear end, behind, posterior...

a hole in a wall
简陋的小饭店

to taste/look/smell like ass
很难吃/看/闻

wiseass
自作聪明的人

ass/butt kisser
阿谀奉承之徒

a pain in the ass
令人讨厌的人或物

butt in
干涉别人的事

kick one's ass; put some's ass on the (firing) line/sling; chew up one's ass
教训某人一顿

jackass
混蛋

who cannot wipe his own ass
没用的人，傻子

to cover one's asshole
为别人收拾烂摊子

be up to one's throat
忙不过来

bust ass to do sth.
忙个不停

a kick-ass job
很不错的工作

backbreaker
非常累人的活